To the Grieving Momma

I have been hanging on to this one for a while but I think it is time to put it out there…

Dear Momma,

I’ll make a meal and say lot’s of prayers for you.  I will think of you constantly in the coming days but what I really want you to know is;

You are a shining example of strength.  I marvel at you.  I worry that my words will not bring comfort and could have the opposite effect but I want to share my heart rather than remain silent. I won’t try and interpret God’s plans or encourage you to look to ‘next time’.

Tonight you join the most undesired club imaginable.  Your baby will not be a part of this world and I am sure that it seems that they are taking your whole life with them.  No mother should have to endure what you have just been through or what you will undoubtedly encounter in the coming months and years.  

I do not know the depth of your grief and I cannot imagine how dark it must seem.  I have not walked in your shoes and my mind has limits to even beginning to comprehend how shattered you certainly are.  My heart breaks for you. Although I cannot say, “I know exactly how you feel.”  I know the intensity of a mother’s love, and I know that there is no greater bond.  Through this love, I stand with you.  Let me try to extend your baby’s legacy by vowing to you that I will not take the birth of my children for granted.  I will hug them a bit longer and let them snuggle long past their bedtime.  I vow to continue the love you have to give in the only way I can.  

I send you my heart and all of my love.

The loss of your tiny soul is not fair. It is not fair that random teenagers who have no business getting pregnant, procreate accidentally, while many of those so suited to love a baby are denied the privilege.  It is not fair that one parent receives their miracle and you bury yours.  Life’s cruelty is no better illustrated than in this inequity.  It is not fair that my entrance into motherhood was unremarkable.

I don’t know what words I can offer when I feel that the very existence of my babies is rubbing salt in your wound. I am sorry for thinking that I have anything at all to do with your grief.  What I want you to know is that your child will not be forgotten.  In its short life, it has transformed you and in its absence, undoubtedly destroyed you.  You are not alone in this journey rebuilding yourself and your dreams.  You share the heart of every mother.  

With All of My Heart,

Another Mom

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